The question is always asked, 'shall a wife have no will of her own?' The bible plainly states that the husband is the head of the family. 'wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands.' If this junction ended here, we might say that the position of the wife is not an enviable one; it is very hard and trying position in very many cases, and it would be better if were there few marriages. Do not get me wrong. Let me explain further, many husbands stop at the words, 'wives, submit yourselves,' but we will read the conclusion of the same junction, which is, 'As it is fit in the Lord.'
God requires that the wife shall keep the fear and Glory of God ever before her. Do not get this twisted, but, entire submission is to be made only to the Lord Jesus Christ, who has purchased her as His own child by the infinite price of His life. God has given her a conscience, which she cannot violate with impunity. Her individuality cannot be merged into that of her husband, for she is the purchase of Christ. I will say that it is a mistake to imagine that with blind devotion she is to do exactly as her husband says in all things, when she knows that in so doing, injury would be worked for her body and her spirit, which have been ransomed from the slavery of Satan. There is one who stands higher than the husband to the wife; it is her Redeemer, and her submission to her husband is to be rendered as God has directed-' as it is fit for the Lord.'
When husbands require complete subjection of their wives, declaring that women have no voice or will in the family, but must render entire submission, they place their wives in a position contrary to the scripture. In interpreting the scripture this way, they (husbands) do violence to the design of the marriage institution. This interpretation is made simply that they may exercise arbitrary rule, which is not their prerogative. But we read on, 'Husbands love your wives, and be not bitter against them.' Why should a husband be bitter against his wife? If the husband has found her erring and full of faults, bitterness of spirit will not remedy the evil.
Wives subject only as husbands are subject to Christ. The reason why am saying this is, our Lord Jesus has not been correctly represented in His relation to the church by many husbands in their relation to their wives, for they do not keep the way of the Lord. They declare that their wives must be subject to them in everything. But this is not the design of God that the husband should have control, as the head of the house, when he himself does not submit to Christ. He must be under the rule of Christ that he may represent the relation of Christ to the church. If he is a coarse, rough, boisterous, harsh and overbearing man, let him never utter the word that the husband is the head of the wife, and that she must submit to him in everything; for he is not the Lord, he is not the husband in the true significance of the term.
The question you should ask yourself as a woman is, will this man stand in his noble, God-given manhood, ever seeking to uplift his wife and children? Will he breathe about him a pure sweet atmosphere? Will he not as assiduously cultivate the love of Jesus, making it an abiding principle in the home, as he will assert his claim to authority.
I chose to share these tips for i have met and interacted with many women who claim they have no say in their marriages, wherever they decide to do something of value it is either rubbished or it results into violence. I mean no woman deserves that in the name of submission, let the husband study words of Christ, not in a one-sided manner, merely dwelling upon the subjection of the wife to her husband, but in the light of the cross of Calvary, study as to his own position in the family circle.
Well i hope this sharing helps you as a woman, to make right decisions even as you submit to your husband. Let Christ be lifted up in your marriage. Ephesians 5:22-33. Should you have any question feel free to contact me.