Updated: Sep 2

Todays study is derived from the book of James 1:19. (My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.)

Women have always been called names like gossipers, talking like parrots and so on, i think this is because we like socializing so much. As we do this we create friends from different walks and along the way some end up creating enemies. When we create friend there are times they want to be listened to or the other way round. At the same time we can create enmity if we do not control our tongues or fail to always listen. In this article am going to share with you how to be an empathic listener. Let us jump in;

Empathic listening is an important skill that has various benefits, including strengthening your business relationship, improving your communication with family members and expanding your social support work.

What is empathic listening?

This the practice of being present in the moment and hearing someone else's story without judging or reacting. This requires you to be compassionate, curious and be willing to be open to what the other person is saying.

Listening helps to build relationships by creating space for communication and mutual understanding. It allows people to share their emotions and concerns without feeling judged or overpowered. Listening with empathy simply brings attention to the other person and helps them feel heard, and encourages them to continue talking.

When we listen , we become attuned to the other person's feelings, thoughts, and needs and this is very important especially to mothers and wives. This can be hard work because it demands that we suspend our judgmental voice for about 20 minutes. As mothers or wives if you do not practice the act of listening then it will be hard for your children to trust sharing their thoughts with you, when this happens as a mother you will never know when your child is hurting, simply because they will feel your going to judge or push them away. As a wife you should be always ready to listen to your spouse, this is because, they maybe facing or going through difficult times at work or something else is stressing them up, the closest person they may trust to share with is you, the wife. But this may become difficult if you are the type who cannot be trusted or quick to judge. You should know that it's never too late to start it allover again.

Why practice empathy listening?

There is an immense power in connection. Connection breeds understanding and acceptance and can be the cement that allows two people to stand together in the face of difficulty. When we connect with someone, we open ourselves to their experience, enabling us to see things from their perspective.


Listening isn't simply about passively absorbing another person's words; it's about becoming actively engaged in their world, feeling with them rather than telling them what to do. As i said it may be hard by you can try and practice empathy by paying attention to your own reactions and framing them in the context of the other person you're listening to.

Here is how you can do that;

  1. Be aware of your body language. Whether you are sitting or standing, your posture sends signals that affect how our listener perceives us. Be aware of how you position yourself and adjust accordingly.

  2. Pay attention to non-verbal cues; Watch for facial expressions, tone of the voice and body language.

If you want to become a better listener, you first need to be an empathic listener. That is by focusing on other people's feelings and thoughts, not just their words. To do this;

  1. Let the other person talk. Don't try to convince them or change their mind; let them talk without interruption. This will allow them to express themselves fully and give you a chance to understand what they are saying.

  2. Respond with understanding and empathy. When you listen and respond with empathy, you are showing that you understand what the other person is feeling and thinking. This will make them feel heard and understood making them more likely to open up to you in future conversations.

Lastly, listening can help build connections with others. When we are able to tune into other people's feelings and thoughts, we can form a more meaningful bond with them. It also reduces stress levels. When we listen attentively and empathically, we can reflect on our own emotions without judgement and criticism. This can lead to sense of calmness and peace. It is my prayer that as you read this article your view or approach on people who needs a listening ear will change.

'Jesus did not suppress one word of truth, but He uttered it always in love. He exercised the greatest task and thoughtful, kind attention in His intercourse with the people. He was never rude, never needlessly spoke a severe word, never gave needless pain to a sensitive soul. He did not censure human weakness. He spoke the truth, but always in love.'( Steps to Christ p.11)

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